Post{Secret} Sunday: Better Late Than Never

I’ve been a PostSecret enthusiast since my freshman year of college. I remember sitting in my creative writing class one morning when my teacher gave each student a postcard, told us to write a prompt based on our secret depicted on the photo. Intrigued by not only the card but the nature of the  movement in general, I continued to follow the blog every Sunday for years. I went to a Postsecret seminar and book signing, shook Frank’s hand, downloaded the app… I’ve blogged my secrets and have written about others that have inspired me. The site actually works as a tool to stimulate my senses and stir the emotion within. It helps to ensure that I am always writing, always creating something new or reflecting on something that I can’t quite describe otherwise.

This Sunday I scrolled through the page and came across this photo of an older couple. In a separate font, was a question that I often ask myself, in the broader sense. What is the key to keeping passion alive for years, decades? With divorce on the rise, what is the secret to relationship success?

I stayed online all Sunday night and Googled away. “Advice from old couples.” “Marriage advice from longstanding relationships.” I practically pulled out the thesaurus for synonyms for the elderly, for love, for tips… I breezed through YouTube videos and read through paragraphs in the New York Times, articles of gray and grinning couples, hand in hand. What started as a simple notion turned into a research project in a matter of hours. And despite my findings, nothing really was resonating. The ‘communication’ ‘intimacy’ ‘trust’ suggestions ran together as the search engine grew restless at my persistence. I couldn’t go to bed… I couldn’t let it go. To me, there had to be something more to the equation, after the intimacy dies and communication halts and the trust is broken.

I was honestly about to give up when my mouse scrolled across a forum at the bottom of the page. I personally dislike reading ‘Q&A’ style articles, but the title read, “Advice from an 80 year old couple, married 60 years.” I clicked on the link.

I got goose bumps as my eyes seized the two line paragraph. When the couple interviewed was asked how they’ve made it work for so long, “The old man answered, ‘We have thought about this a lot and what we can tell you is that we never fell out of love with each other at the same times.’”

… It was the most perfect answer, the one that I had hoped to find. And at 2AM, although Monday, I began to create a postcard of my own.

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~ by Britney Martin on February 12, 2013.